Happy Birthday, Little Man...

How he got that GI Joe in the church this morning

I don't know but he ain't listening to the preacher

Like his mama taught him to

She's wanting me to cross the aisle

Go, sit over there with him awhile

Make him turn around and sit up straight

Stop playing in the pew

To watch him is all that I can do

Cause I look at him and I see a boy

And I see trouble and I see joy

See innocence and headstrong

And a heart full of dreams

I look at him and I'm so amazed

I'm so proud and then so afraid

That the apple didn't fall quite far enough from the tree

Yeah I look at him and I see me

Already says when he grows up

He's gonna have a big ole truck

And I can see him getting stuck

On some private property

  

He'll take chances, he'll take dares

And keep his mama and me scared to death

When he goes out at night

You know I'll bet we'll never sleep

I guess I get what my dad got from me

Cause' I look at him and I see a teen

Having fun doing stupid things

I see roadblocks I see mistakes

I see heartbreak he can't see

I look at him and I'm so amazed

I'm so proud and then so afraid

That the apple didn't fall quite far enough from the tree

Oh I look at him and I see me

I look at him and I see me

Breaking down one day

As he packs up all his things

To move away

I look at him and I'm so amazed

I'm so proud and then so afraid

That the apple didn't fall quite far enough from the tree

Yeah I look at him and I see me

  

 "I See Me" by Travis Tritt

 



It's a GIRL: Behind The Scenes

For whatever reason, I have always considered myself a "boy mom".  After all, what would we do with a girl around here?  I'm hardly one myself and Steve is one of three brothers.  I have nothing to base this logic on other than that I suppose I've always had the preconception that girls are more high maintenance.  Sorry, ladies.  Admit it; sometimes we just are.  Now at the age of one, a boy in the house about what I expected...content in a t-shirt and pants, messy beyond belief but can somehow get away with it, can hang with our 100 lb beast of a dog, smacks his head on something and keeps right on playing, etc.  So when we found out we were pregnant again in January, another boy sounded more than convenient.   

So imagine my surprise when over the last few months, I began to harbor this warm spot for a little girl.  What?  Who am I?  It would be nice though to have a little more estrogen around here and to help me put all these boys in their place.  Gradually, the idea of a sweet little girl grew on me (mentally blocking out her teenage years, of course) and with our ultrasound coming up in a few weeks, I found myself pulling for a Maci.

As you know, Steve & I went for our fetal echo cardiogram last week.  Anyway, at one point, the baby flipped and we got a vivid shot of baby bottom & legs.  There was no doubt in our minds that we'd just caught a glimpse of boy parts.  It was a dead-on angle with splayed legs and well...a weenie.  We kind of hated that it kind of spoiled the excitement of our upcoming ultrasound, but we were happy.  I reluctantly gave up my aching for a girl and embraced the fact that a boy would be easier.  Shoot, we had everything we needed for a another little guy.  Yep, I'd welcome the smoother transition.  The talk around house became "he" this and "he" that.  I figured God knew what He was doing by giving us our Hayes Foster and we couldn't wait.

Fast forward to yesterday at the ultrasound reveal..."You ready?  It's a GIRL!"
My reaction:  "Yeah right." 
Steve's reaction:  "Huh?"

Shock...pause...nervous laughter..."can you show me again?"...pause...look at Steve for reassurance (didn't find much in his blank stare)...then finally laughter again and we were good. 

Wait...this is what I wanted, right?  A girl!  ...still a very confusing situation when you're completely convinced you're having something else.  Apparently we saw umbilical cord instead of what we thought we saw.  Or as my philosophy goes, it fell off.  Once the shock wore off, we really started getting excited.  What more could we ask for?  A so-far healthy baby girl.  After all, we knew Dylan would be amazing with his little sister.  A big brother to show her the ropes.  So, dresses & hair bows, huh?  I can do this!

We can't wait to welcome a little lady into our house full of boys this September.  Hmm...Steve, Lindsay, Dylan & Maci.  I like it! 

A Grateful Heart

Yesterday, Steve & I were sneaky.  At 10:00 a.m., you could find us at Le Bonheur Children's Hospital meeting with Dr. Vijay Joshi to reveal any potential heart issues with our upcoming addition.  We made the decision a long time ago to have a fetal echocardiogram performed to give us full disclosure on any developing defects, but decided to keep the date of our visit from family and friends to protect the immediate sanctity of the information we were about the receive.  Hope for the best, but be prepared for the challenge.

After an hour of cold jelly on my growing stomach & recording about 72 fetal images, we were ready for Dr. Joshi to sit us down.  Overall, we were delivered a very good prognosis.  The major defects we feared were ruled out - exhale!  Our baby had perfect blood flow through heart & pulmonary, functioning & proportional heart chambers... all the things we wanted to hear.  It was then brought to our attention that there are two small areas of concern which, for the moment, affect nothing in regards to the functionality of the heart.  Sigh...but all things considered, this is still wonderful news.  The reason these are considered concerns is that you can never really tell what direction the heart is going this early in the pregnancy.  At 17 weeks pregnant, the heart is ever-changing and will not be fully developed until around 25 weeks.  We will have a final diagnosis (if any) when we will return in around 10 weeks for the follow-up echocardiogram.

So, what are the potential outcomes?

• There is a chance these areas will self-correct and we are looking at no problems at all.  (Yes, please!) 
• All else may be fine, but these two issues linger.  In which case, as long as the heart is still functioning properly and the blood flow is good, there should be no risk to the baby's overall health. 
• However, we would be remiss to acknowledge that this may develop into a problem as the heart continues to mold & form.  The bottom line is that we can rule out any major defect, which is a beautiful thing to hear.

Sure, we would have loved to be sent away with an answer of "Nope. No problems here. Go home & never come back."  Such is life.  We are so appreciative of the gentle spirit of Dr. Joshi and the fact that he took the time to even raise these concerns with us.  That's what good doctors do and that's exactly why we wanted to have this performed.  It is important for you to know that Steve & I left in very good spirits.  We feel extremely grateful for the positive news we received yesterday and we have such a peace about what's to come of this next visit.

So many emotions have come of this...
If the new baby has no issues, will Dylan feel slighted by his condition?
Will a new healthy baby feel slighted by the attention Dylan receives due to his defect?
If the new baby develops a problem, will we as parents be strong enough to endure a repeat?
...I suppose these are the concerns of any parent with a child who faces challenges. 

I guess I'm allowed to say this without sounding presumptuous...Steve and I are very strong people.  We don't always feel like it and some days we seem quite the opposite, but we've been through alot and just have this renewed faith that we can get through anything.  That doesn't change the fact that we could always use your prayers to keep us focused and positive as this pregnancy progresses.

At the end of the day, I feel good...life is good...I am grateful.  Have a great week!

P.S.  By next Wednesday, "the baby" will be forever be referred to as Hayes or Maci. 

So I created a blog...

Don't act surprised.  If you know me at all, me blogging isn't much of a stretch.  I love to talk, give away too much information, share my philosophies and have an opinion on almost everything.

With Dylan's first birthday approaching, I'm forced to realize that my life has changed drastically over the last year.  No doubt, for the better.  My outlook is different, my blessings are plentiful, my patience has been tested, my heart has been broken, my prayers have been answered, my spare time has vanished and I'm pretty sure I'm losing hair.  I'm still Lindsay...social, upbeat, imperfect, loud, random, politically incorrect, occasionally scatterbrained and often unladylike, but I have a new perspective and it's refreshing.

As you all know, our son, Dylan, was born on April 22nd, 2010.  I knew he was perfect the first time I laid eyes on him at 7:02 p.m. in that hospital room.  Soon after, he was diagnosed with a rare and likely fatal congenital heart defect.  Ebstein's Anomaly...a term it took us a few days to spell and pronounce correctly, but one that we'd never forget.  Two open heart surgeries and 11 months later, we have that same perfect little boy running around banging pots & pans in our kitchen floor.  Life is good.

Experiences like this will make you look at nearly everything in a different light....a much brighter light.

I'm looking forward to using this blog as an outlet to share our blessings & in some cases, just release some stress through writing about the day's experiences...which I suppose is what blogging is all about. 

Happy Spring!  Now get outside & enjoy this weather!